


Comfort

by Finnlay, Nausi



Series: A heavy heart to carry [9]
Category: Marvel (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Asexuality Spectrum, Get Together, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Sexual Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 12:56:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15886509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finnlay/pseuds/Finnlay, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nausi/pseuds/Nausi
Summary: Drabble #09:Daken finds himself seeking out the comfort and safety of being close to someone that he adores and trusts.





	Comfort

Ouch, I have lost myself again  
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found  
Yeah, I think that I might break  
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend, hold me  
Wrap me up, unfold me  
I am small, I'm needy  
Warm me up and breathe me

**Sia -** Breathe me

* * *

“ _You ungrateful, stubborn boy. You **will** learn and you **will** obey.”_

The words played in his mind like a broken record, skipping a word here and there, cutting off in the middle and looping endlessly. Daken had woken up in cold sweat and with his claws embedded in his mattress. It was the third time this week. Ever since he had spoken of _it_ with his therapist, the memories haunted him – be it in his sleep or in a moment of quietness during the day. The moment he stopped occupying himself with something, anything, the memories came.

It had driven him out of bed and down the halls, following a well known route to a door that had the simple initials of B.D. on it. With a little sigh Daken knocked, hoping that sleep had not been kind to Bobby either.

“Come in at your own risk.” Bobby’s voice came through the door. “I’m in here crying at a book.”

After a deep breath Daken opened the door and slid into the room silently. The sight of Bobby curled up on the bed, looking all sad and with a book in hand made him smile a little. “What are you reading, hu Snowflake?”

“This is your fault.” With his finger between the pages to hold his place Bobby held the book out so Daken could see the cover. “You left your copy of ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ here. It’s been a decade or more since I read it last but I’m pretty sure it didn’t make me cry the first time.”

“Some books develop their magic with experience and repeated consumption.” Daken approached the bed and sat down at the edge. There were dark circles under his eyes and he looked exhausted but his voice held that same light and casual tone as always.

They looked at each other for a moment, sky and ice blue eyes looking into each other, searching for something. Before Bobby spoke he replaced his finger with a bookmark. “Do you wanna talk about it or the book?” 

There was a soft chuckle following these words and Daken looked at Bobby with affection clear in his expression. “You always know … how do you do it?”

“You’ve got a top notch healing factor, the most comfortable bed in the school, and amazing cashmere blankets, but you look tired.” Bobby leaned forward and smiled sadly, “There’s got to be an ‘it’. Something keeping you up.”

“You just love my blankets.” Chuckling he looked at the one he had given Bobby, an icy blue which the man had been delighted about. “Yeah … I … you know, therapy is really, really hard.”

“Yep.” There was a darkening in Bobby’s expression, “It is, it’s … sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it. But my life works better, I’ve been making better choices … it just … it really sucks to remember things, and … is that what’s going on for you? Remembering?”

Daken nodded slowly, “Yeah but … more intense. It’s … not just remembering. I – I _relive_ the things I talk about. Not always but … the worst of it.”

It was clear that what Daken said affected Bobby. He leaned forward and motioned for Daken to come to him. “Take off your shoes yeah? I think this talk needs booze or serious cuddles and I’m all out of booze.”

With a soft sigh he took off his shoes and slid under the covers with Bobby, allowing the other man to draw him into a hug. It was not something a lot of people were allowed to do – touching him. Especially in this type of situation. “I keep … I keep hearing him.”

Bobby held Daken more tightly and shook his head, “That has to be terrifying.” 

“Sometimes I can still feel his hands on my skin.” Pressing close he hid his face against the crook of Bobby’s neck and just breathed that soothing scent in.

It made Bobby feel strangely warm and good, the way Daken pressed into him. Those feelings stood in sharp contrast to the worry, concern, and frustration he felt thinking about what Daken had gone through. Bobby rubbed Daken’s back and then leaned in and kissed Daken’s brow. It was a far more intimate act than was his norm with Daken, but he couldn’t find any words. 

“Bobby ...” Closing his eyes he leaned into the soft gesture, clearly yearning for the affection.

“I keep wanting to make stupid promises.” The words were punctuated by a smattering of little kisses over Daken’s brow. “Promises no one can keep. So super platonic friend face kisses instead.” Bobby kissed down the bridge of Daken’s noise, “This is super gay, platonic, but gay.”

“No one will hurt me again, you won’t allow it?” Daken chuckled and then opened his eyes, looking straight at Bobby, “I’d rather you kiss me.”

His voice grew soft and warmed over, “Yeah, that’s pretty gay too.” Bobby blushed but kept pressing his lips to Daken’s skin, over his cheeks, and down the sides of his face. 

“Bobby … _kiss me_.” He said it with more emphasis.

“You sound really sure.” There was a note of reserve in his tone but not in his posture. Bobby’s eyes fell half closed as he leaned in, the angle of approach different this time. Their noses brushed and Bobby swallowed down any further comment, not trusting himself to speak. As their lips touched Bobby made a soft sound low in his chest. Their knees grazed each other as Bobby’s hands pressed against the small of Daken’s back. A thrill ran through him as Daken parted his lips, and the whole world seemed to stand still, holding its breath right along with them.

They were kissing. It had been a long time coming. Daken reached up, cupping Bobby’s face in his hands as he brushed his tongue over that full bottom lip. There was nothing like kissing someone he _wanted_ , Daken had figured that out decades ago and yet he had not done this often.

As their lips parted Bobby felt light headed, but he knew what he wanted. Despite sounding a little far away he stated his desire clearly, “Stay with me.”

Shifting he settled on Bobby’s lap and simply kissed him again, this time slower. His lips barely brushed over soft skin as he peppered Bobby’s face with little kisses, working his way to these soft, full lips. And even when their lips met he was careful, gentle even and teasingly slow.

With needy hands Bobby explored Daken’s back. The rest of him lay still or nearly so. Bobby’s lips moved, matching Daken’s. There was no push, no rush, no demand in him anywhere but the motion of his hands. They were desperate, hungry, and determined, but they did not move quickly. 

After what seemed like a blissful eternity Bobby mustered a few words, “God you feel good.”

“Mmh.” Sighing contently he wrapped his arms around Bobby and just leaned into the embrace. It took a few moments before he found his voice and when he did, his words were soft and lazy, “So do you … but … Bobby, I … this isn’t going to work.”

“You aren’t into me like that?” Bobby arched a brow and forced himself to calm down. For a moment he’d let himself believe that _it_ was happening. 

“Oh I am. I am so into this you have no idea.” Daken chuckled and then looked down, embarrassed and maybe even a bit ashamed, “But … I know you are looking for more. More than just kissing and holding each other. And I’m not. I thought maybe if I kissed you, if I got close that I’d feel _something_ but I don’t. I’m not needy, I’m not aroused or even just curious.” Letting out a shaky breath he frowned and then said in frustration, “It’s not that I don’t _want_ more – it’s like my mind and my body disagree. Might be fear, might be the decades of unresolved trauma … or who knows, maybe my sex drive is shit. Or I am Asexual but that label doesn’t feel right either. None of them seem to want to fit.”

Daken’s words settled on Bobby, sobering him further, but there was no disappointment or frustration. After a short pause he smiled a little and took one of Daken’s hands in his, “I’m hearing that you feel this is complicated. And I can’t say you’re wrong. It is. I’m also hearing that you feel the same way about me that I feel about you. I’m trying not to get all giddy because I hear you Daken, I hear that you’re not totally sold on trying whatever this would be, but I also hear that you want me and I am going to be honest with you; knowing that is one of the best feelings ever.”

“I don’t want you to feel obligated to stay with me. I worry that if I start this and we don’t match the way we should … you’d stay because that’s the kind of stupid but wonderful person you are. Selfless to a damn fault.”

“A relationship takes two people. If this isn’t something you want, or if it turns into something you don’t want, you can end it.” Bobby licked his lips and tried to feel as confident as he sounded. “I think that we could make it work if we’re open and honest with each other about our wants and needs. I’d like to try anyway.”

Leaning in he closed his eyes as their foreheads touched and Daken just breathed for a moment. Bobby’s scent had easily become a source of comfort to him and right now he needed that. After a little while he said softly, “Okay.”

“Yeah?” The grin was irrepressible, Bobby couldn’t fight it. “We’re boyfriends? You want to be my boyfriend?”

“Yes, you ridiculous man.” Chuckling he pulled back and smiled at Bobby, a little embarrassed but sure.

“So you’ll stay the night?” Daken’s fingers were pulled down to Bobby’s lips where they were peppered with kisses. 

“I wasn’t planning on leaving either way.” Daken leaned in, stealing a quick kiss before he added, “Being with you makes the memories fade away.”

“I don’t even know how to express what that makes me feel.” Bobby reached up and stroked Daken’s face, “Thank you.”

“Thank _you_.” Kissing Bobby’s cheek he nudged him gently to lie down and then curled up in Bobby’s arms. This was maybe the worst idea he had ever had. Or the best one. Only time would tell and for once Daken did not feel the need to run from knowing which it would be.


End file.
